Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
