that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize