babies were throwing up all over the place
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize