Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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