Are we in a gay sports bar?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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