Small penises have feelings too.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
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By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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