her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
