Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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