I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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