hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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