gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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