It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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