oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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