you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
