i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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