wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
