OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.