Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.