I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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