you suck at this game today
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.