you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.