yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
