I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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