youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
