Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
