So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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