ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
