There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
