If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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