I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
