Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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