her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Everything about him screamed your future.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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