i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
