i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
