its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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