were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
