I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My cat gives me a boner
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
