He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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