And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
