I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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