White coat. Heels.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
