Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
