I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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