If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
