I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
