Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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