Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
