and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
