yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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