I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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