tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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