i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
