please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
