Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize