U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
