She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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