Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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