Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize