I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
