I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
