remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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