i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
