Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
