I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can't talk, ducks in the car
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
