she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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