one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
