We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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