I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
