Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
