nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize