It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
