Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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