I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
