An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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