I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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